(Above, Michael Costa, neo-saviour of the world)
A quiet day on loon pond, except for an extraordinary cawing and crying from the now seemingly permanent resident cuckoo Michael Costa, whose latest contribution to The Australian, Garrett holding economy to ransom, seems determined to prove he can out-loon any loon on loon pond.
Never mind that it was under Costa that the NSW government held every New South Welshperson to ransom. No, Costa's got a bee in his bonnet, and guess what? No, you'll never guess it. It's all the fault of the greenies, those arch villains, and vile Peter Garrett, head vile villain.
Say goodbye to the brotherhood of baldies. A noble band of brothers no more.
You see there's poor Kevin Rudd, not understanding that anything government does is a bad idea, just trying to do his best by urging that the government take steps. Our helpful Costa slaps a label on this sort of scurrilous activity with the curious coining "neo-interventionist". Now we all know that neo-interventionism sounds terribly bad, neo-conservatives everywhere are rolling in their graves, but it's better than nothing.
Well it would be except that neo-interventionism has been stymied from doing anything by Peter Garrett and his all powerful, all controlling environmental protection act.
This neo-protectionist act is in stark contrast to the wonderful work done by environmental minister Malcolm Turnbull, who streamlined everything. That was when the act was merely protectionist.
Now the bureaucrats run everything, and the world of developers is coming to an end. Wollongong under Labor will never be the same again. Sob.
It's all petty disputes over wordings in ads to serve "a common environmental ideology".
This neo-environmentalism is ruining everything because it's being manipulated by theological environmentalists (I understand when they pray it runs something like Our gaia who art in the soil, hallowed be your name, give us this day our dose of daily developers, so we can smash them into tiny little pieces and enrich your heavenly body, and save us from temptation by delivering us the evil one, a chappie called Costa, so we can smote him in your name, for gaia is the neo power and the neophyte glory. Something like that.)
So happy is Costa with having invented the notion of "theological environmentalists" he uses the terms a couple of times, and then sheds tears over specific examples of developers at work to make Australia a better place, only to be frustrated by fundamentalist greenies who make fundie Christians look like decent progressive capitalist types.
What's worse, these same ecological warriors now want global warming to be taken seriously. Their fiendish, diabolical Fu Manchu goal - to shut down the nation's coal industry. Or the nation!
This trigger is so broad it could be applied to all human activity undertaken on land. This would effectively give the department the right of veto over any future development of the Australian economy. Now that would be a recipe for recession.
Ah bald headed one, I hate to break it to you, but the world is already pretty much in a recession, and somehow it managed this without the vital help of the greenies. Let's just say Wall street did a pretty good job all on its own, along with the bankers and the clever derivatives traders.
You know every so often I travel up through the Hunter Valley and I'm astonished just how many parts now visible from the road have been turned into a moonscape by the coal industry. Around Muswellbrook, the land has been ruined for generations for the one off benefit of digging it up and shipping it off. Michael Costa, as a proud Cessnock person, presumably has some passing knowledge of this.
I guess where I see destruction, he sees a neo-economy.
It's easy to understand why there's a bunch of farmers in the Gunnedah basin (or the Caroona basin, call it what you will) getting agitated about the proposals of the coal industry to tear the guts out of the land in their vicinity. Something about the water tables and wanting to grow things that people can eat rather than sit down to warm themselves by coal fire.
That's right, the protestors have been average common or garden farmers, worried about the land, and their right to farm it, worried about the soil, driven to act like greenies, protesting the NSW government decision to give the greenlight to mining licenses to explore for coal on their land.
My guess is that the NSW Labor government has wreaked more destruction on NSW in recent years - especially at the time when Costa was a key part of the team - than any loon greenie could manage, or imagine.
If only we had a Keith Olbermann type AV unit, so I could attach a little clip, inviting Michael Costa to come on down, as neo-loon of the week, and woooorst peerson in the wooooorllld. In a neo-columnist way.
In the meantime, hopefully he'll accept our award for pro-developer anti-bureaucrat, anti-vile hideous greenie rant of the week. Yep, Michael, you're right out there, zooming past Andrew Bolt and tiger Tim Blair in your bid to become the chief sultana in the Christmas fruitcake.
And now quick children, hide, get under the bed. It's Peter Garrett, anti-Christ, neo-Satanist, and destroyer of Orrstralia for Ossies (and Darryls).